[Discussion] I wasted my 13 years of junior/high school + college.

I thought it was a good thing that my parents would let me do anything I want back then, but now that I'm 25 and looking back, it was very irresponsible of them. They didn't teach me anything. Both my parents were super introverted, which is probably the root of my horrible personality.

I didn't talk to ANYONE during my four years of junior high (that's quite an impressive record for someone with no serious mental issues...). I did have a close friend at home but that's about it. He eventually left me because I neglected him too often. Then three years of high school went by, I made a few "friends" but I deemed them "too boring" and gradually stopped talking to them.

College was not much better. I had to rely on random advice from the internet to learn how to live, and it was... difficult. I ended up taking two extra years to improve my GPA. I have told myself many times "I must change NOW!" but I never actually did. I had some girls clearly showed they liked me, but I just tried to make reasons not to like them and ended up not having a single date.

I did do some jobs here and there, went to MANY interviews too. All alone of course. Made barely enough money to buy food and gas (I still live with my family). All my real communication with people are mostly on the internet, and the people I talked to on the internet are quite different from the people around me (which led me to hate social media which are full of people in my region).

Now that I have been unemployed for more than a year, I'm focusing heavily on improving my skills and gaining more knowledge, but my social life is still a disaster. No friend at all, don't even talk to my little brother and father who are my roommates (they are mega introverts too).

Sometimes I actually cry when I think about how I wasted the very precious years of schools that I will never get back. The silly things high schoolers do, innocent emotions that only teenagers can feel. I missed them all. I know I should leave them in the past, but it's just so painful. 13 years is a LOT of time that I will never get to experience again.

I just need to tell someone about this, I've been living a lonely life for way too long. I'm not sure how words from people who don't know much about me will help me, but I need to get this off my chest. Thank you for reading.

Submitted February 27, 2017 at 02:29PM by handa711 http://ift.tt/2lWNPGL