So, I have zero idea if i capitalised everything properly there, this subreddit has the text auto capitalise every word and its confusing lol
Anyway, let me introduce myself, I'm only 22 (turning 23 this month) and this one is kinda personal, I didn't really have any output or place to tell this story because I was afraid of what people would say, but, lets begin.
I grew up in a typical household, parents were split so I hopped between living with my dad and visiting my mum every now and then, no big distance between the two houses, literally a 10 minute drive most of the time. Anyway, High School was a shit time for me, for the 6 years I was there, I was bullied every day, I didn't do anything wrong, I didn't retaliate, I just ignored it to the best of my ability and focused on my school work...
This didn't work out, because there is only so much you can block out before something seeps through and it hurts. I spent many nights crying, contemplating suicide, not going to school out of fear as to what will happen to me the next day. The only classes I passed in school was Sports and IT, and I did my VCE (Victorian Certificate of Education, Australian thing), and whilst i did horribly, there was nothing I could do about it, it was over and done with.
Now, between my 10th year, and graduation after my 12th year, I took up MMA to have an outlet for the frustration and emotional anger that I had held inside of me for years. I did 2 years of MMA before my first amateur fight, I felt as though this was my destiny, my first step to being someone like BJ Penn, or GSP (Georges St-Pierre), The fight went well, but in the third round, i got knocked out and lost... I felt horrible, I was so emotional afterwards, I felt like i wasted 2 years, but I remember what my friend said, and i'm not sure if he was the original person to quote this, but it went along the lines of "If we don't fail, how else are we meant to succeed?"... Anyway, I recuperated and went back into training, over the course of 2 years, i won 5 fights, and lost 1... that was until, I had my back injury.
I was working in a computer store at the time, and because it was my first job, i was worried that i wouldn't perform that well, so, when I had to lift a few 20kg full towers onto shelves, i did it too rashly and 2 discs in my lumbar spine popped out, and hit the nerve... It was debilitating, I couldn't walk or sit still for a year, this was in 2013-2014. I went through the gauntlet of meds, two of them led me to a deep and disgusting depression (Lyrica, and something else), and I had thoughts of ending my life, because i knew that since my back injury is this bad, i have no chance of participating in MMA.
Now, in 2016, the doctor who has been keeping an eye on me, prescribed me codeine, and whilst i know its addictive and stuff, it was the only relief until something else comes up, For the record, i am not hooked on this drug, i use it responsibly and take sufficient breaks when needed.
In 2017, early this year, I saw a specialist and got a surgery plan going. I'm still waiting for surgery, but ever since the start of the year, i've slowly been getting into MMA, nothing too strenuous, my coach understands my situation and he says that if i show improvements, i can get back into the cage.
it's now mid-year, and looking back at my life, it's been a rollercoaster, I can't help but smile and be happy because even though my life seems like it's down in the dumps, i know that this situation is only temporary, and that one day, ill see myself in the spotlight, on the big screen, fighting the people who i've looked up to all my life.
So, don't be scared of failure, or uphill battles, because it's only a means to getting what you dream of at the end of it, i'm still climbing my uphill battle, facing demons left and right, I just know at the end of it all, i'll be where i wanted to be all those years back.
Much love.
Submitted June 02, 2017 at 01:22PM by Slayer_Tip http://ift.tt/2sl3O2a
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