Ugh wow I hecked up the title big time, please forgive me I am a silly goose
One of my family members is going through a rought time ATM, and she made a subtle cry for help on Facebook. I started typing up a response and before I knew it, I had this huge thing typed all out. I had horrible, gut twisting depression for a few years a while back. I still struggle with it, but it's much more manageable now.
So, here's my unsolicited advice. Or, maybe it'll help to read this less as ADVICE and more as a set of stuff I did when I was suffering through horrific, numb, and seemingly endless bouts of semi-suicidal depression:
-Go outside. And by outside, I mean go at least 1 mile from your house. Like, go somewhere else. Just get away from your house. It's stupid how much better you feel when you're not able to wallow in self pity/hatred when you're out in public.
-Clean ya damn room. This one is admittedly tricky since depression by definition inhibits your ability to give even a half of a single fuck, but hey, in one of those fleeting moments of "I can do a thing today maybe," use it to clean your environment up. Messy environment = messy mind.
-Stay away from sad shit. Yea, if you love listening to "No Children" by The Mountain Goats, you're gonna have a bad time. Don't watch depressing movies, don't read fucked up books, don't expose yourself to more negativity than you already have in your brains. This doesn't necessarily mean you should only surround yourself with ~~~HaPpY sPaRkLy FuNtImE~*~ feel good bs. It just means maybe lay off the Linkin Park and listen to something more emotionally neutral.
-You got insurance?Cool beans, exploit that shit and get thee to a therapist. Imho, even "normal" healthy people need to see a therapist. Therapy is so helpful it makes me angry, like, I wish I was going to a therapist during my depression because it would have made a WORLD of difference.
-No insurance? No problem frend, the internet exists and that's pretty dang swaggy. I ran a Steven Universe themed self help blog for a while (don't judge me, I love SU) as a sort of therapeutic way of coping with my own junk, and at the top of the self help page is a shitload of links that can get you to free therapists or at the very least free "listeners," you know, anonymous people trained informally on listening and advice giving and whatnot.
-This one's pretty cool, I've only recently started doing it and it really is pretty helpful. Make a goal journal, and please don't gag because trust me I KnNoOoOoOw it sounds cheesy as hell, but just hear me out. Get a cheapass agenda/planner/whatever from Walmart or Target or where ever you damn well please. Start using it like the World's Least Important Journal. Glue a couple pieces of blank paper on the first couple of pages. On the first page, write 5 things you want to do/goals you have. Maybe "Get a steady job" or "hold a job for 6 months minimum" can be some goals.
List 5 goals, then on the next page, made a circle in the middle of the page and draw/paste a pic of your face in it. You ever do mind maps in class? That's what we gone do here. Make 5 circles around the pic of your face and list each goal in a circle. Then start brainstorming ways you can make the goal happen. Get messy. Use colors if you wanna, or don't. Doesn't matter. Just get as many ideas on there as possible. (I can upload a pic of mine if you'd like, it's nothing fancy.) Guess what? Now you got a list of tiny little things you can do throughout a year to make those goals happen. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.
Every new week, make 3-5 small, easy goals that correlate to your yearlong goals. For instance, of of my goals is to join the local roller derby team, so for this week, my goal is to work out at least two times over the week and to limit myself to 3 small sweets a day. (I love me some candy, so that one's hard but I can do it or whatever). So here's the thing, you can't make these goals difficult. Like, at all. Start off really, really INSANELY easy. I hate working out, but I can do it 2 times in a week with no pressure. But I can't write down "Skate for an hour 4 days of the week" because ain't no way in hell my lazy ass will reliably do that. So keep the weekly goals easy and small. We're gunning for precision here, not quality.
Now, for the weekly journaling. I'm a lazy asshole, and I'm scatterbrained as all hell, so I can't be bothered to reliably write a page of my life experiences each day. But I can comment on each day. Write, like, 2-4 sentences every day just detailing your mood, and any success you have. Don't use this part for your failures. Once you finish up the week, THAT'S when you can take a moment to think "what do I need to do differently next week to make shit better for myself?" Lather, rinse, and repeat. I've been doing this for about 4 weeks now and I'm absolutely more motivated to smash my goals, and I don't feel like an idiot for constantly falling short of them because I've set myself up for success.
The last thing it to remember not to coddle yourself. Treat yourself to stuff that makes you feel good, sure, but don't make excuses when you mess up. Don't reward yourself for shitty behavior, like if you stayed in bed all day and then yelled at a friend on the phone, you don't "deserve to treat yourself to a nice bath," fuck that, you were a jerk and you got nothin' done! Get a shower and do something small and easy that's productive. You'd be amazed by how much better you feel after accomplishing a teensy tiny goal, rather than letting yourself continue to be in a self serving circlejerk of pity. And totally feel free to treat yo'self when you hit any goals, be they lil' bitty or huge.
Are you as lazy of an asshole as I am, and do you have like $20 to spare? Forgo the DIY element of your goal journal and just pick up one of these bad boys. This thing is so, so helpful. And it smelles like new book, which is alays massively sexy.
Ok now go do cool stuff with your life, ya dirty winner.
Submitted May 23, 2017 at 01:34AM by effervescenthoopla http://ift.tt/2qO5PWi
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