Hi r/GetMotivated, like the title says, I'm a sophomore in college, about to turn 20 in about 4 months (I'm a girl btw), and I have come to realize that I have kinda bad luck with friends. There are a few gems, not going to lie, maybe about two friends I can count on, but that's pretty much it, but they mean a lot to me even though I don't talk to them much these days. I was (still am) raised in a very strict household, and my parents really limited my interaction with other kids my age, and I was basically not allowed to leave my home without adult supervision. Now that I'm in college, I've worked really hard to gain some independence, and I've had a little bit of success, but I'm definitely still working hard at it with baby steps. Anyway, I wasn't allowed to dorm at college this past year, so it was really hard to make new friends.
I tried to keep in touch with friends from high school; I was always the one who initiated contact and, with the exception of one friend, have eventually lost contact with everyone. I don't blame them though, I always had to flake out on things they invited me to because my parents wouldn't let me, but it still sucks watching your old friends post on social media about great times they're having without me. In college, the few friends I did manage to make (all from class), have mostly stopped talking to me, unless they needed something from me. The rare times that we do hang out, it's only because we randomly wind up at the same place at the same time (mostly at the school cafe), and they sit with me out of politeness. They're not obligated to be my friends, I know, but it still feels awful when they make plans in front of me and say "Oh (my name), I guess you can come with us too." They always talk about their fun sorority plans and going out to parties and dates and planning summer vacations together while I just awkwardly sit/stand there feeling out of place.
Besides my nonexistent social life, I struggled this year with academics and family issues, and all these factors I know contributed to a really bad period of depression for me. I should have seen the signs: the lethargy, constant crying/sadness, the occasional empty feeling, doing poorly in school, loneliness, losing weight, isolating myself, struggling to out of bed, etc. But my academic advisor really made me realize that I needed help, and I went to my school's psychological services and met with a therapist for months.
I've been feeling immensely better since then, and even though I still have my bad days, I'm overall much happier and starting to feel like myself again, but I still have a lot of progress to make. I'm going to get a dorm on campus this upcoming sophomore year. I finally declared a major in a subject I'm really passionate about, but I still have a long way to go. I want to get more involved on campus and I want to meet people and make true, good friends. But I'm not sure where to go from here. I feel overwhelmed with all the clubs and activities that I just don't know where to start. I've never had freedom or independence like everyone else has had growing up, and my social skills could really use some work. I'm incredibly shy and awkward at first but once people have gotten to know me they always tell me how happy and positive and funny I am but I don't know how to project that to strangers and "put myself out there," so to speak. So reddit, where do I even begin?
Submitted May 28, 2017 at 09:39AM by jjh0928 http://ift.tt/2rtHGFN
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