[story] Sober for two weeks now. Been an alcoholic for around 15yrs.. Got my first DUI + other charges/jail. After jail/suicide​ attempt/mental health hospital stay... Im ready for the rest of my life finally. Sobriety has saved my life.

Me, 33yo, F, 15yrs-ish an alcoholic. Ruined friendships, relationships, jobs, finances due to my drinking habits over the years. Even helped lead to some severe mental health degradation.. In and out of hospitals/mental health facilities my whole life almost.. Two weeks ago, again, I felt miserable. After the week before, getting drunk on pre-trial and ending up coming to in a storm drain tunnel by my house.. Cut up from self harm with glass, including what was spelled out in my skin, "Kill Me" "I want to die" "I'm afraid" and "They want me dead".. This lead to me hitting an even lower rock bottom.. I took about 40mg of Klonopin, 900mg of Seroquel, half a bottle of wine and around a cup of moonshine.. I wanted to die. Was talking with friends via text and told them I had taken some meds and was going to bed.. Fast forward to me nearly unconscious, being loaded in the ambulance.. I OD'd.. Heart rate was under 40, blood pressure 70/35 at their lowest for a whole day. I should have died.. And was told so by many Drs there and my own psychiatrist.. Call it luck or whatever, but Im still here. Never have I felt worse for putting my friends in that kinda scenario. I now owe them my life. Now, Im in AA, DUI classes, sober since being back and off the benzos I OD'd on. I am sleeping better, I am happier, less depressed and my anxiety is improving. Have court soon as well, but whatever happens, I did to myself. Fucked up on meds and booze is barely any excuse at all, if any. Im done making stupid decisions and wasting my life. I have been living every day to it's fullest, talking to friends I haven't talked to in years again, just happy overall! Sobriety is very hard, but oh so worth it. I cant wait to see what the future holds for me! Hopefully I can get off disability and even work again if this anxiety and depression clear up/improve! And to those out there that need help, reach out to anyone. ASAP. Your life could depend on it.

tl;dr : Alcoholic, overdosed, almost died, living/loving life now thanks to friends and sobriety.

Submitted August 31, 2017 at 12:05AM by ___OP____ http://ift.tt/2vsY5fR