I just want to take the time out first to say, this sub (along with a few others) has helped me come to realization that I'm successful in my own.
For many years I suffered from being seen as a the "black sheep" in my immediate family household (My mom and my brother). I was always looked down upon, I was never going to be successful, my brother was the "glorious & successful" one in the house. I was treated different because I didn't do what was "right". I asked for things, and it was like pulling teeth on getting it, and 9/10 I wouldn't get it, but 9/10 my brother got what he wanted. Looking back at it now, I was skilled and talented in a lot of things, and I enjoyed these things because I believe it was my outlet and I was always given praise from others on how good I was at what I did, but rarely from the people I wanted to hear it from, my family. I was forced to goto a school I never wanted to be in, and do things I never enjoyed doing. When my brother did the simplest of things he got the highest of praise for it. Something as simple as doing chores, but when I did them, it was always "Good, that's stuff you're supposed to do". The thing I hated most was I was forced to goto my brothers games and waste my weekends going to them, but when it was my games and meets, I was just dropped off for the day because "I have errands to run", or some bullshit. That's very disheartening for a child growing up. (There's a reason I added all those side things in there.)
Fast Forward to somewhere around I was 15. I was forced for goto a catholic high school I didn't want to be in. I was getting detention and suspended for some of the pettiest of things. I was so miserable there but it was the "right" school to go to because my brother went there and he was successful. I ended up being kicked out of that school, and boy was I definitely looked down upon, and looked like a degenerate and I wasn't going to be anything growing up.
At my new school, I made friends (who my family and friends at my old school) who was thought of as "bad", mainly because it was public school, I wasn't a dumbass, I knew right from wrong, but some people didn't think so. I was the new kid, so everyone wanted to know who I was. At the time I didn't think I was, but a lot of girls thought I was attractive, so I got a lot of attention, which helped my battered self-esteem. With that happening, the guys wanted to know who I was, so I made good number of friends. With the attention, the coaches caught wind that I came from this catholic high and saw me at games and meets, and not to toot my own horn, I was one of the best in my county. I was a very shy kid, so this was all new and didn't know how to handle this. I kinda just took it and ran, and ran so well I joined the football team and the track team.
My junior year I blew out my knee in a football game at the beginning of the season. I came back at the end of the season but lost my starting spot (which I figured would happen). I joined the track team, mainly because I wanted to gain speed for football, and made it to the county championship, but came up short. Senior year, I ended being county champion, league champion, and ranked 3rd in my state for track. The only time family came to watch was when I made it to the state championship, because my godmother was more happy and proud and wanted to go, so they made the trip. I got an almost a full-ride scholarship on my own for athletics and academics, and no one thought I could get there.
Going into college, I had very little support still because I wasn't going to be anything to my family's eyes still. I still didn't think I was a successful person at all and had little confidence, but everyone around me would give me praise and say how happy and proud of me they were, especially from my extended family. My teammates and coaches would say it was amazing and always a joy to watch me compete. I just never got it from my own family. I was either multiple-time conference champion, or got top 3 in a lot of championships. I made it to the national championship almost every season I did track. My first season in college I made it the USA junior championship, and ended up coming up short because I lacked self-confidence because I didn't think I should've even made it to that point, I was like Holy Shit, I've made it here, out of the millions of people, I made it on my own. Then my senior year, my indoor national championship, I made it to the finals and was supposed to be one of the top 5 finishers and become All-American(top 8 spots) but ended up coming in 9th. Before this championship, I made it to the USA championship, my grandpa and my dad actually flew out to watch me, because they never got a chance to make any of my meets or games but always supported me in what ever I did, and they would watch online whatever they could. Even then, I came up short because I didn't really believe I belonged
By the end of the senior year I was a very decorated student athlete graduating with a 3.4 GPA. I had numerous championship titles, conference MVP, and several time All-American, then even compete professionally for a time being. During my "pro days", I went back to grad school, landed an assistant coaching job in another college, was a graduate assistant and still had a part-time job. I STILL didn't think I was successful (Yes I sound dumb at this point) because I didn't land a job making substantial amount of money and was comparing myself to others. I only came to realize I was a success when my ex-gf cried saying she wasn't successful, which I thought was on a very successful track because she was getting her MBA, had a decent paying job, traveling to countries and always had a good amount of money. She told me everything I've done and put another perspective on it. That's when I had a more postive mind set. I later landed my first "big-boy" job on my own, and started making smart financial decisions. Even then, just because of my job title, it wasn't good enough for my house, and I second guessed myself for a second like, wow wtf am I doing wrong, then I had to snap out of it saying to myself "listen you're doing great for yourself, don't think you're not". Now my house turns to me for support in many things. They even ask me to pay they're bills, pay their way for airfares, and many other things. I actually sat down one time and cried because I looked back on everything I had to do on my own and was looking for validation from others to seem "succesful". In the end, you make your own success story.
If you get through this story, I'm sorry for the length lol but thanks for reading. I just wanted to share and put that out there. Don't look for validation from others but just look for self-validation. If you believe you're doing well the best way you can, then keep doing so!
Submitted May 01, 2017 at 09:45PM by JimmyJon12 http://ift.tt/2po1mbQ
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