I married a woman in my mid-20s. The relationship was good or so I thought. Anyhow 3 years into the marriage I discovered she was cheating. Needless to say the marriage dissolved and after several years I married a different woman, we are close and have 2 healthy children.
A while back, about a year ago, I had a conversation with a lifelong friend of the family. She had started a new job and apparently my ex-wife worked at the same place. It transpired that my ex-wife was trying to have children, had run into complications and was trying with IVF.
It appears that some medical issues had started around the time she separated from me.
Within no more than a week after catching up with my friend, by chance, I happened to see my ex at the grocery store. I was just getting a few things we needed for the house, it was late in the evening. She asked me how things were and I did likewise; she asked if I had remarried and I said yes. We talked about trivial crap and all those false niceties in an awkward situation. Finally she asked if I had any children, I just responded in as flat a tone as I could (knowing her situation) ‘yes I have 2’.
At that moment, and I take no joy from this, I saw a haunted agony momentarily cross over her face.
I certainly do not wish for such a terrible sorrow on any person who truly wants to be a parent and cannot be one in the conventional/biological sense.
I do remember the pain of that broken marriage and the dismayed, drawn despair of each day, wondering how you can go to work, concentrate and even cook a meal. I recall I lost about 20lbs in weight within a month.
The storm does eventually pass and you live again and then you remember how to enjoy life, to think freely and finally to love and trust.
The pain went away long ago, but you don’t ever totally forget.
Did I wish for bad things on my ex during or after the breakdown of our marriage, no I did not; it only serves to take you into a darker place. Am I glad she has suffered? No, we can all choose to forgive or be vengeful.
It may be just circumstance and that she would never have been able to have children anyway?
The point is that perhaps some seeds that are sown lie dormant for many years and in the place where we have forgotten the pain, suffering and hurt we may one day see the type of field that has sprung up around those who reside in it.
Submitted January 31, 2017 at 10:49PM by laxmikantasamai http://ift.tt/2knslm2
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