Sometimes it takes a little bit of light in your life to shine through the darkness that surrounds you and tries to swallow you. 2 years ago I had a girlfriend. She was the best thing that happened to me in my life. She made me happy and she made me feel more alive than I had ever been, being a socially awkward introvert who has trouble talking to people and was kinda depressed due to not having many friends. However, things quickly turned sour when she suddenly decided she didn't want to be together anymore, but said she'd still like to stay together as friends with benefits. I agreed with her offer and we enjoyed it for a few months. Then one day she came over my house so we could have sex, which we planned a week in advance and continued to talk about over the week until the day came. A few days later we get a call. It was her mother, telling us that they are at the police station filing a report against me. A report that I raped her. My family and I were shocked at the accusations and we went in and gave a statement, also giving evidence that she was lying since my text messages proved she consented and remained to give consent that very day. However, what's done was done. I almost had gone to jail because for whatever reason she decided she was going to report me for something we both planned to do and that we were both ok with. The weekend passed and we went back to school after the incident. I was scared to go back because I was sure she was probably going to spread this to our friends, here, mine, and mutual friends. Sure enough, I walk into the school and I have at least 2 or 3 people walking up to me and harassing me with questions. "What the fuck did you do to_____?". I was told by both police and my family that I should keep to myself about this matter because anything I say could probably make things worse. According to the police, she was meant to keep quiet too. Obviously that didn't work and she had already told her friends and our mutual friends. I quickly walk away to my homeroom, sitting in my seat, stressing the hell out and having trouble breathing. I lay my head down and try to calm myself down until about 30 seconds later when I hear a voice. "Hey, could you come with me, I wanna ask you a few questions" the voice said. It was one of her friends, with one or two others who had tried questioning me before standing at the homeroom door. I'm scared. I stand and recklessly run out of the room yelling at them "Get the hell away from me! Go away! Leave me alone!". I run to the bathroom and hide in there for about 5-10 minutes until my first class started. I thankfully was able to avoid her and her friends the rest of the day. My last class ended, I see one of our mutual friends in the hall talking to another mutual friend and I'm still shaking from fear and paranoia. I walk up to them, starting to cry as i hug one of them, asking "am I a bad person? Do you think I'm a bad person" they both tell me no and believe that I couldn't have done what people are saying I did. I continue to cry as i thank them for still standing by me. However, it felt a little sour because they both told me they were neutral in the issue. They chose to rather ignore the issue and not break up either friendship between them and me or her and them by picking a side. I was glad to have lost no more friends but a little sad that they still had a relationship with someone I cared about, especially after what she did. Then a month later I hit my limit. While browsing posts from around my area on an app called "whisper", I came across one that stuck out. It read something among the lines of "I love pleasing my master. I love being a good kitty to him but I'm in a naughty kitty for telling whisper". It stuck out to me because very few people in our area used the app, there were little texting quirks that were familiar to me, and the vocabulary was VERY familiar to me. I asked one of my friends to look into it for me and I can found out that less than a month after she reported me, she started having a BDSM sexual relationship with a man who was 11 years older than her. (By the way, around this time, she was 15 and I was 17). So she was in a relationship with a pedophile. A bondage relationship where she is his slave. I wanted to report it to someone, but I kept thinking that if I did, I would be arrested for stalking or just by interacting with her, which I was told not to do. So I tried my best to get over it and keep my mouth shut. But then I couldn't take it anymore. I had to tell someone. I went to my school guidance counselor. He wouldn't let me finish my sentences, kept assuming I was making things up for the sake of getting revenge for what she did to me, and that I should just let go. But what really hit me was that he said he believed I raped her. He believed I did it. So what could I do when I try to finally expose this pedophilia relationship but shot down and told I'm nothing but a liar? I don't know... I didn't know what to do. I lost my girlfriend, I lost half my friends, I was paranoid of being assaulted by those who stood with her, and I learned that she's getting away with having sex with a man who's in his mid-to-late 20's. I feel I had lost everything. I couldn't think of much else to do. What used to be the light that shined away all of the dark things around me that made me sad, angry, and anxious was now the darkness that clouded my mind. Dark thoughts filled my head. Eventually I contemplated suicide. At any point someone could be crazy enough to come after me for "what I did". Hell, SHE could do it or her "master" could do it too or any of her friends who hate my guts. Why not just end the pain quicker and not live in fear? But then something happened that I didn't see coming. The last day of school for the year and I asked my friends (some are mutual friends of hers) to sit down with me at breakfast to help me ignore her and make the last day less painful than the rest. They agreed and moved tables in the cafeteria about 4 tables away from her. I was happy for about 2 minutes until SHE moved to table as well. She followed us. At this point, in the past she's told me "stay away from me. I don't want to be near you or you near me." So for her to sit about 3-4 seats down from me at the same table after my friends and I moved shocked me and caused me to have a meltdown. One of my friends noticed me crying and asked what was wrong. I pointed down the table at her and said "she's here. She followed. She told me she wants to stay as far away from me as possible yet she follows my direction and sits at the same table". So my friend calls to her "hey, could you please move somewhere else? You're upsetting him". She coldly, with barely any emotion said "no". I start to freak out. I yell to her "what the fuck do you want from me?! Why must you continue to torture me?! You say you don't want me to stay away from you, yet you follow me to a table I moved to so I could specifically get away from you! Leave me the fuck alone!". The entire time she's just looking at me with this blank and expressionless face that screams "I don't give a fuck". My friend steps in again, as well as another friend to comfort me and tell her to go away. She finally goes away. Two of my friends are hugging me and one follows her to scold her for what she did, what she's doing, and to break off their friendship because they are crossing lines. "Rape is not something you joke about or lie about. You leave him alone or I swear to god I will kick your ass" they told her. I soon calmed down and my sadness turned into happiness. I was so glad to see my friends show how much they care about me that they'd stand up for me and even break ties with someone after realizing how much of a snake they were. I soon realized I no longer wanted to kill myself because I finally rediscovered my light within the darkness, which were my closest friends, who cared for me and fought for me. My friends, my family; These people mean the world to me, more than anything else in my life. At a point in my life where I hit the lowest point possible, believing that the dark clouds in my head would swallow me and cause me to end my life, I finally remembered the shining light that keeps my spirits up and keeps me going in life; my best friends and my family. The people who I love and care about and love and care about me. I love them and I will keep them and the memories of them in my heart forever and cherish them for as long as I live. For those who are reading this, find your light and keep it burning strong to repel the darkness around you. You may be going through really bad times, but as long as you find something or someone that will help you pull through, you'll come out just fine. Maybe a few scratches, scars, or cracks along the way, but your light will keep you together and keep from letting the darkness in and swallow you completely as it almost did to me.
Submitted January 31, 2017 at 01:47PM by The_Flying_Jew http://ift.tt/2jQgWHP
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