So i stumbled upon this subreddit by typing in random words such as life, help, advice just to see what i'd find mainly because everyday I'm slowly realising that to me my life seems fucked and that i honestly can't remember when i last felt motivated or happy and since I've talked to strangers multiple times about my problems i thought why not try reddit.
Before it get into it sorry about my grammar it's late and i honestly don't care enough to read it and fix mistakes I've probably gone over it a few times making sure I have put everything that i want in this post so fuck the grammar.
Right i guess the easiest way to start this off is by talking about me so, I'm currently 20, Male and I live in the UK and everyday of the week for me is basically the same I wake up most of the time around 3-5pm and i spend around 12 hours sitting at my desk either playing games, watching stuff on youtube or a TV series, the only time that changes is if an event is on.
Personal problems - I've suffered with depression for years I've had professional help multiple times and each time I felt like it was a waste of time it did nothing for me, I don't speak to either of my parents my dad especially is a trash human being but lets not get into detail here, I feel alone, like i have friends and they're great but i cant talk to them about my problems or mainly I don't want to just because I feel like again I'm wasting time, It makes me feel like shit and I don't want sympathy and I don't want them thinking I'm just telling them for sympathy or attention.
I've told or someone has said in front of them (thanks mother) my family problems in the past in full detail besides family and close family friends knowing about my fucked up family/situations out of my friends or now acquaintance's if I remember correctly 5 people know 3 of them are now acquaintances the other 2 i would consider friends but we hardly speak, which I also have trust issues scenarios will pop into my head as stupid as that sound, about how they could tell other people and basically fuck me over I know/or would like to think the majority of people if they found out wouldn't give a shit but hey nothing i can do about how it makes me feel.
Now onto education - I missed the majority of year 10/11 because of my depression, results wise I did shit no F/U's but still nothing good i then did 2 years of college the first year went ok but the second year i dropped out within 3 months, depression had gotten the better of me again.
Financial situation - I know this isn't something i shouldn't complain about because we can't control if we are born into a rich family or not but hey that's life and its not the only shit thing about it that being said I feel like i should include this, so I'm poor as fuck the only money i get is because I have depression which isn't much someone working full time gets what i get for a month(2 payments every 2 weeks) in a week, I guess the main reason I've included this is because I've had experience on both sides when my dad was around I was a spoilt brat, examples of this are i went through around 5 phones within 6 months they didn't break it was just to see which one i liked best, I got the newest Iphone as an Easter present and on one of my birthdays i had £2000-£3000 spend on me, I had everything i wanted clothes, games if we went out and I seen something I like my dad would get me it. (the last time i seen my dad i was 15)
So the main problem how can i get my life back on track or make it better, at the moment if you couldn't tell I'm unemployed, I've never done any type of work voluntary or experience nothing, I've been lucky in getting a few interview this year however they all end the same way saying that I didn't get the position and the reason being that I have no experience which I slightly understand but it pisses me off, how do you expect me to have experience if that's the reason i can't get a job? there's my little rant out the way with that.
So there's my "story" i guess, out of my friends I'm the only doing nothing, they either work or are at uni I just don't know, education pisses me of i hate being around people the only reason I attempted to do the second year of college was because I was going to be around my friends, if you read all this thanks and sorry for rambling a bit if anyone has any advice in what i can or even should do to help my situation/further my life it would be greatly appreciated.
Here's a few I like in case anyone has some ideas for me I might update this if I think of anything else Maths - I loved maths I wasn't the best at it but I loved it, it was the only lesson I enjoyed through out all of high school (I'm bad at it now I haven't touched it in 3 year's, here's me and learning in a nutshell if i haven't/don't do something in a while i basically forget most things) Computers/gaming - I'm not great with them but oh well
Submitted July 02, 2017 at 07:39AM by 4ADA-ss http://ift.tt/2tDanRQ
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