Friday was my aunt's birthday, she had invited me to go and said I could bring a friend, she was going to a pub to have drinks, she asked me 2 weeks before, it was going around my head everyday, about everything that could go wrong, plus my family would be there, not all of them but a few, ones I haven't seen in a while and there would be people I wouldn't know which made me even more anxious.
I've had anxiety and depression for 9 years, this has kept me in the house, terrified to go out in fear something would happen, this meant the relationship with my family went distant. When I got asked to go out, my instant thought was to say no but I made a promise to myself to step out of my comfort zone and finally beat this anxiety and depression and get my confidence back.
I decided I was going to go, and I brought my friend along. I was extremely anxious throughout the day and when it got to 7:30pm, I was even more anxious as it was time to go there, I got there and I was really quiet, I had my head down, didn't really talk to anyone.
But then, after about an hour or so, I started to feel comfortable, started to talk more, but then anxiety hit me and I started to feel sick, I really wanted to go home but I instead when out to the toilet, took some deep breaths and then went back to the table, I started getting even more comfortable and stopped feeling sick, I was singing along with the people on karaoke (Not on stage, I'm not that confident yet haha), I was talking to my family more and then my friend said she had to go and she was going to drop me home but I said no, it's okay, I want to stay, I was amazed by this and then when she left I started to feel uncomfortable for a bit but then I started talking to my cousin and once again the anxiety went.
What's even more amazing is I met new people and I was up and dancing with my family and even dancing with new people, here's what's interesting, a fight broke out in the pub and then it went outside and soon enough the police turned up, I was not one bit anxious about this, which was surprising because this is a moment I'd be terrified of, what I was worried would happen, happened, but I wasn't anxious as I knew I had nothing to do with that fight and the police got there so I knew it would die down, my younger cousin was very anxious and I calmed her down, I took her mind of it by making her laugh, soon enough the pub closed at 1:30am and we were walking home and I had the biggest smile on my face.
I've woke up the morning after and I felt great, I felt like I've had a massive confidence boost, I met new people and I danced, my aunt told me she was so glad I came as I haven't been to a family birthday or get together in years because of anxiety, if I could redo that night I would and I wouldn't change a thing.
I wanted to share this as even though something did go wrong, I was fine as I realised anticipatory anxiety is the worse and when it does actually happen, it's never as bad as you think it will be and I coped with the situation well, when I was worrying about what would happen, I was imagining exactly that, a fight breaking out, I'd have a panic attack but I didn't, a fight did break out, but it got under control and anxiety was not even present, only a small bit which was just me worrying about my family getting home but we're all home (Some with hangovers haha) but Friday night really helped my anxiety, massively! I would really love to redo the night but now, I know I can do it again in the future and I cannot wait!
I just wanted to share this with you all as I stepped out of my comfort zone quite a bit that night and sure anxiety was present, but I got a lot of confidence from it and even better, I feel close with my family again!
Submitted February 05, 2017 at 05:49PM by Ambitious_Angel http://ift.tt/2k9SHVa
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